If this post offends you in any way, I’m sorry. I might sound negative here, but this is the truth. Many don’t see it this way and many won’t agree with me, it doesn’t matter. The truth hurts and this post discusses on why you will never get your ex back. I’ve witnessed this first hand recently and many times before, that I might come out as sounding like a broken record.

Whenever we talk about healing a broken relationship and getting your ex back, one of the main points is to avoid acting in desperation. When you are in an emotional state of mind after being in a breakup, it is important for you to stay calm and collected. Before you do anything, you need to think rationally and only then can you act. You must never at any time appear to be pushy or desperate. Desperation will only push your ex further away.

I would like to share a real incident which happened to a friend of mine. She was in a relationship with her boyfriend who is also another friend of mine. During the period of their relationship, she unfortunately did not play her part as a girlfriend and took her partner for granted. There were some rocky parts during their relationship days but everything seemed to go back to normal as the boyfriend eventually gave in and forgave her behavior. As was mentioned in some entries ago, when one person cares more about the relationship and the other takes it for granted, trouble will come up. Sooner or later, the person who has been doing all the work and all the forgiving will get fed up with the whole situation and will not want to continue in the relationship. This was what happened to my two friends. The boyfriend got tired of always keeping a blind eye on all the things that the girlfriend does and decided to call it quits.

Needless to say it came as quite a shock for the girl. Her first reaction was to cry and beg her boyfriend to not leave her. In some ways she still did not know what she had done wrong and is confused at what has happened to their relationship. And so she called me up for help.

I was doing my best to remain impartial as these two people were both my friends. So I remained as a shoulder to cry on and let her vent out all her feelings and her emotions. It is a lot better for her to cry in front of me then to cry in front of her boyfriend. Remember, crying in front of your ex is a sign of weakness and you do not want him to see you this way. When she was a bit calmer and in control of her thoughts, she asked me my opinion on what had gone wrong with her relationship. After asking some questions, I finally found out about her not playing her role as a girlfriend. So I told her about this. She on the other hand could not face the facts and had a hard time admitting her mistakes. This is another classic example of the denial that most people have when they are trying to identify what their problems are. You need to be strong and to face the cold hard truth. It is by identifying your flaws are you able to make the necessary changes for the better.

When she asked my opinion on what to do next, I told her that it was best for her to give time and space to her ex and to herself. Both of them now need to have time to reevaluate what’s important in the relationship and to sort out their feelings for each other. Even though she may want her ex back, her ex needs time to decide whether or not he still wants to be in a relationship with her all over again.

After a breakup I always tell my readers that it is important to act maturely and think rationally. Keep a distance from your ex and work on improving yourself. Acts of desperation such as repeatedly calling, texting and even cyber stalking are to be avoided, as these will only work against you and make you look childish and weak. By doing this you will only be pushing your ex away further.

I can tell you that in the next few weeks after the breakup, even with my constant advice, she was not at all able to think rationally and act maturely. True enough, it only made her look weak and desperate. She still calls me up to cry and this shows that she has yet to get a grip on her emotions. Even though I have repeatedly given her the best ways to handle this situation, she still refuses to accept the fact regarding her flaws, and still wants to relive the breakup many times in her head, looking for other probable reasons where she is not to blame. She refuses to move on and this is truly getting out of hand.

The conclusion dear readers is that even with all the best advice in the world, if you refuse to accept whatever mistakes you have made or deny the flaws that you have, you will not be able to make the changes necessary to move on. If you still want to cry and plead, then you will forever be seen as weak, desperate and spineless. In this very case, it hurts me to say that even I get tired of all the crying that she is still doing that I start to think of her as whiny and desperate. Now imagine how her ex would feel if he were to meet her again today?

So dear readers, if you want to get your ex back, remember that if you act desperately and cry and rant till kingdom come, and you refuse to accept whatever flaws you have and do not want to get a grip and move on, and you still want to play the victim of the situation and refuse to act rationally, you will never ever get your ex back.

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