If you’re wondering why your ex is not returning your calls, then it must be something that you didn’t do right. If only there were solutions to this, magic words that you could say to get your ex to return your call. It’s like how do you tell if your ex still wants you back if your phone is not answered right? You seem to be out of tricks and you’re at the end of the rope.
 
He wants some space, you’ve already given your ex the space. What more does he want? Before you go dwelling in self pity, I can assure you that this is a common problem faced by a majority of the broken up couples. I will now show you what you have been doing wrong all along.

First thing is to identify the strategies that don’t work, so that we can work the other way round to solve it. These strategies do not only fail but it can make you look like weak and more like a "desperado". This will make it even harder for you to make up with your ex. There are three things under any circumstances you must not say and they are:

1.    The Plead
It is notoriously used in instances such as, "Monica, you have to please, please call me back. I’ve been calling you since this morning. I seriously need to talk to you. Call me please."

2.    The "Emergency"
Emergency calls such as this is so lame, "Ross, call me back, this is an emergency. We need to talk urgently."

3.    The Side Step
The caller usually calls and pretends the call was for someone else, "Oh, hi Joey, I had you on speed dial. I actually wanted to call Phoebe. Well, um, call me whenever. Okay then, bye."

Sorry for using characters from "Friends". I’m such a big fan. Anyway, I’m sure you can see how wrong these calls sound. Surely you can picture the callers as being so hopeless. If the above have that effect on you, imagine how annoying this must be for your ex.

 
This is the exact reason why these strategies fail big time and make you look needy and desperate. What you want to be doing is to replace that desperation with self interest and curiosity.

Ever heard of the expression, curiosity kills the cat? Together with self interest, they are two of the most powerful weapons of the human mind. If used correctly, you can rule the world when you know how to use both curiosity and self interest together.

 
For the moment, let’s concentrate on winning the heart of your ex back and later when we have the time, we’ll talk about world domination. Just kidding. Okay, here’s how you should use curiosity and self interest together to get your ex to return your call. Only then, you’ll see there’s a light at the end of that tunnel.

Here’s how you can mix the two and make them work in your favour. In a friendly tone, I repeat, friendly, not desperate, you could say, "Hi Chandler, it’s Janice. I’m calling to let you know that I appreciate what you did for me. If you have time, call me so I can thank you in person."

It doesn’t matter if your ex hasn’t done anything big for you. We just want to pique their interest so much so that they want to call back. I know it’s a bit misleading but all is fair in love and war.

 
Remember, it might be a little sneaky but your main intention is to get your ex to talk to you. Now your ex is curious and interested to know about the call. Plus, it is also a positive message that will make him/ her feel good and appreciated.

Remember before such a message, you need to reflect on the things that your ex has done for you, no matter how small those things are, as long as it makes some sense to the both of you.

 
Now that you’ve seen the importance of what shouldn’t be said and what can be said, you will be better off in making that important phone call. Just remember to remain positive and friendly. You will be surprised how this will work in fixing your relationship.

PS: If somehow this still fails to get you in your ex’s good books, you can always write a second chance letter. But if you follow the advice, you should be okay.

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