Have you just been through a devastating break-up that has left you heartbroken and desperate to win your ex back? Here are ten mistakes to avoid while you are trying to win them back.

1. Don’t come crawling back - No matter what happened or what caused the break-up, don’t come groveling at their feet like a whimpering puppy. This is completely unattractive, and just plain doesn’t work.

2. Don’t smother them - Resist the overwhelming desire to call or text your ex at all hours of the day or night. If you give them some time and space, they will actually be able to develop feelings of regret over the break-up and to miss you like you are obviously missing them.

3. Don’t jump into a relationship with someone else in order to make them jealous - This one can really backfire on you. If they were considering giving the relationship a second chance, they may view this as a ‘deal-breaker’ and move on.

4. Don’t use anger or threats - You may be feeling desperate, but using threats to try to get your ex back or lashing out at them in fits of anger will only cause them to run full speed in the opposite direction.

5. Don’t destroy any of their property - As silly as this one seems, many people turn to juvenile behavior when they feel jilted and sometimes do irreparable damage that they later wish they hadn’t. Don’t destroy any of their belongings that you may still have, and don’t destroy pictures of the two of you or other memories.

6. Don’t talk poorly about your ex - Break-ups are rarely the fault of just one person. If you talk badly about them to your friends and family, they may not be ready to forgive your ex when you decide that you are. This can cause problems later on with bitterness towards them from your friends, and especially your family.

7. Don’t let your appearance go - This is definitely the time to look your best. Don’t get stuck in depression and start bad habits like overeating. Once you gain ten pounds you’ll be even more depressed.

8. Don’t drink your sorrows away - A favorite pastime of the ‘broken hearts club’, this is not a smart thing to do. Drinking will increase your chances of doing things you may regret later. Instead of drinking with your single friends, spend your extra free time at the gym.

9. Don’t stalk them - If you want to win your ex back, driving by their house, parking in their driveway, or spying on them is not going to come across as attractive. Avoid the desire to find out what they are up to.

10. Don’t give up - If you really love them and you want to get your ex back, don’t give up on them. They are worth putting some time and patience into winning them back.

Now you have a solid list of desperate acts to avoid in your efforts to win your ex back. These ten things may sound very obvious, but when in the midst of heartache and pain, many of us turn to such measures and only end up making the situation worse. Instead, use your energy for positive behavior, healing, and getting back on track.