Congratulations! After giving your ex the space he or she needed, or probably that second chance letter you sent to your ex last week, now your ex agrees to meet with you. At first you celebrated it with joy, but once reality hits you, you get all nervous and worried. On one hand you really, really want and need to meet up with your ex to talk things over, fix your relationship and get back together again. On the other hand you don’t think that this is such a good idea because you’re afraid that you might not know what to say and afraid that you might say the wrong things.

Don’t worry though, you’re gonna learn everything there is to know about how you should go about doing this. You’re gonna find tips and advice to get you prepared for this meeting with ex. Every time you feel anxious about it, just know that your ex is as anxious as you, but unlike you, he or she might not be lucky enough to find this article, ey. {wink, wink}

First things first, you need to calm down. Get a grip and get your act together. You want your meeting with your ex to be a smooth one. It won’t help if you are nervous and edgy as it might even ruin your chance of getting back together again. So, you have to make sure that you are cool. It’s that important!

The Preparation

 
You should identify the reasons for the break up. I don’t blame you, this is no easy task but this is very necessary. Please, please, please be unemotional when you do this. Get a pen and a paper, or whatever it is that you use, jot down all the reasons that led you to the awful breakup. You should think about the part you played in each of the reasons that you came up with. When you have them listed, do not judge whose fault it was but rather identify the problems and how to fix them.

Now that you are armed with the reasons for the breakup, you should identify the areas that you are willing to compromise and willing to make changes. Be true to yourself. Don’t say that you can change something when you know deep down that you can’t, just for the sole purpose of getting your ex back. You’re not being fair to yourself nor your ex. You have to be realistic and honest with yourself. Committing to something you can’t deliver might lead to a disaster. Honesty is always the best policy.

The reason I suggest for you to make the list first is because sometimes it’s very hard for people to see through their own faults. Like me for example, I always think that I’m right in everything, but when I take the time to ponder (and sometimes I make a list too) I find that there were times that I was also at fault.

 
If you can’t see your own fault, the list would help you out. When you make the discovery, don’t feel bad about yourself. Acknowledge that you are human and you make mistakes. Hey, nobody’s perfect remember? But like all human beings, we have the ability to change for the better. Instead of blaming yourself, you should take all the bad things as lessons learned to better yourself in your relationship.

The Showdown

If you arrive at the meeting place first, do not go in and wait. Make sure that your ex gets there first but don’t make him or her wait for you for too long though. My rule of thumb is let your ex wait for you for about 15 seconds before you go in. This is because you would want to make a grand entrance.

It’s very important that you should be confident when you walk in. No argument here. If you’re a girl, think yourself as Angelina Jolie (or whoever you admire) and if you’re a guy, think yourself as Johnny Depp (or whoever it is you admire).

 
Caution: Don’t look so confident that you might come off as being arrogant. Have just enough confidence for your ex to notice you. You want to make a big impression and let your ex know that you are doing fine by showing him or her the new confident you.
 
Feel good about yourself and wear something that your ex likes on you. We’ve covered this previously on my article on how to get back your ex by getting a hot makeover. See, nothing to worry about.
 
When you talk, do not mumble. Keep your voice steady and maintain the level of confidence in you. Don’t talk fast. It’s important that you talk at a medium pace and please, please be coherent. The most important thing of all, don’t be nervous. Your ex is just as nervous as you. At least you’re reading this ahead of time to get you ready for this.

What to talk about? How to start the conversation? One thing for sure, do not bring the break up too early. Rather, be casual and talk about other stuff that connected the two of you together in the first place. If the two of you love movies, talk about the latest movies for example. If you enjoy certain food, then talk about it. You know the drill.

Once you are in a comfortable mode and you think that the time is about right, simply tell your ex that you realise how some characteristics of your personality may not be best at times. Share with your ex how you’ve been rationalising your actions and how you’ve come to the realisation that there may be some things of your doing that have caused the both of you to break up.

Now that you’re at this stage, avoid the mistakes that most people commit. Don’t promise your ex that you will change whatever necessary to get your ex back. Instead, promise to change yourself in your efforts to be a much better person. Do this for you, not for anyone else.

 
Now, instead of looking needy, you reflect a much better image of yourself – someone who is in control of his/ her own actions and is more responsible for them. Remember if you want to get your ex back, you need to be strong. Don’t project an immature needy persona of someone who needs pity. You don’t want pity, you want love.

One of the things you need to do to get your ex back is to be critical of yourself. Yes, this can be tough, but nonetheless necessary. If you can successfully carry this out, and come out of it a better and more confident person, your meeting with your ex will not be in vain. It will definitely work in your favour in your efforts to get your ex back.

 
One last thing to note though, when your ex agrees to meet with you, consider that a battle half won. Don’t worry about it. You’ll be just fine. Stop asking yourself, "is meeting my ex a good idea?" You are now armed and ready.
 
Good luck.
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