Last month the American Psychological Association announced results from their latest survey. In 2006, 59 percent of Americans said money was a major source of stress in their relationship. Today that number is up to 72 percent. That is a 13 percent increase in just two years, and the survey didn’t say ‘stress’; it said “major stress.’

Just so we are clear, when the Psychological Association says, “major stress,’ they are talking about depression, violence, alcohol abuse, strokes, and heart attacks.

Forbes magazine published an article last month entitled, Sexual Recession. In this article, Dr. Ruth cautioned couples against growing apart during these difficult times. One of the signs of depression is a decrease in sexual desire. This, combined with a lack of communication due to feelings of hopelessness can send all the wrong signals to your spouse or partner. In the article, Dr. Ruth told of one situation in which a husband was experiencing fears of losing his job.

 

Over time, these fears began to affect his manhood causing a decreased interest in sex. Not wanting to burden his wife, he kept these feelings to himself. The wife noticed his distance and interpreted his cold demeanor to mean that he was having an affair.

Dr. Joyce Morley-Ball, an Atlanta relationship therapist who regularly counsels congregation members of the Berean Christian Church, has personally witnessed the break-up of over 25 couples in the past few months due to financial stress.

So, what do all of these statistics mean to you? If your relationship is doing well, it’s time to show some extra encouragement, extra pampering, and extra communication. Staying connected and feeling that you are on the same team is key. A little preventative maintenance now could prove to be the savior of your relationship in the months to come.

If you’re not one of the lucky ones and your relationship has already taken a blow, then use this information to repair any damage that may have been done. Realize that financial stress can cause ugly emotions to surface in both of you. Unless you recognize where the true source of your problem lies, you may end up thinking that your partner is just not the one for you and ultimately breaking up or divorcing. Keep in mind, it’s never too late to turn things around.

Regardless of who said what, don’t play the blame game. If you want to get things back on track, apologize. Tell your partner the truth. Let them know that financial stress has been causing you to feel overwhelmed and hopeless, and you just didn’t deal with it correctly. Choose to make a new start today.

Here are some tips to ‘economy proof’ your relationship:

Watch your tongue: If tensions are running high, it’s best to be careful what you say. Don’t make your partner feel small or inadequate by saying things like, “If only we wouldn’t have taken that adjustable rate mortgage,” or “We should have kept our old car. Now look at the mess we are in.” Comments like this will only pile bitterness on top of an already volatile situation. There is absolutely nothing that can be gained by dwelling on past mistakes. It won’t fix your financial situation. Instead, let your partner know that you are in this for the long haul and help make decisions to turn finances around.

 

Turn up the romance: If depression is affecting your libido, keep in mind that your lack of interest can be perceived as rejection. Now is not the time to pull away sexually. The French have a saying, “L’appetit vient en mangeant,” which is translated, “your appetite will come if you eat.” In other words, just get in bed and give each other the affection that you need whether you feel like it or not and pretty soon you WILL feel like it. Good advice for a time like this, don’t you agree?

 

Do things together: Maybe the economy has put such a restraint on spending that you can’t do some of the things you used to enjoy together. If you can no longer afford to golf, start bike riding together or walk the dog in the evening. Rent a movie and have a candlelight dinner at home.

These things may seem like small adjustments, but they are very important. Depression and worry can cause your partner to see things in your relationship that aren’t really there. They may be overly sensitive, they may feel lost or filled with anxiety. Making an extra effort to bring the two of you closer together will help ease these feelings. The added benefit is that a secure, self-assured individual who is thinking clearly will be better equipped to make good financial decisions and recognize opportunities that can help the two of you get your budget back on track!

 

Alternatively, if you are already a victim of this and that your relationship with your partner has gone down hill, I highly recommend that you check this out now.

 

Please leave your thoughts on this. I’d like to know what you think. Cheers.