How the art of self confidence can get you your girl back. Be "the man".

You’ve just been through a nasty break up.You feel like your world is caving in around you. Last week you thought you had it all. You had a beautiful girlfriend, a great sex life, companionship; it was perfect. Now you’re a member of the "lonely hearts club". She broke up with you, she won’t answer your phone calls, and you’ve even heard talk that she is seeing someone else.

You may think that it’s hopeless, but you’re wrong. Just because she ‘broke up’ with you does not mean the relationship is over forever. You can get your girlfriend back.  It’s just a matter of understanding what went wrong, understanding what women want, and what you can do to make it right.

First, you need to realize why she left you. If it was because of a blatant ‘deal breaker’ on your part (cheating, for example), then you will need to humble yourself. You’ll have to admit that you were horribly wrong, make an honest, heartfelt decision that you are not going to repeat this offense, and then prepare for a possibly long and rocky road back into her heart.

You will have to be understanding of her feelings of mistrust, remaining calm and loving day after day. If you do this, you will eventually break through and the day will come when she will be able to make herself vulnerable enough to trust you again. Cheating damages a woman’s sense of self worth and it will take time and patience on your part while her emotions are healing. She may lash out and yell at you, she may ignore you for a while, she may do spiteful things to try to ‘get back at you’, but if you remain calm, loving, and reassuring during this difficult time, you can get your girlfriend back.

Maybe that isn’t the reason why she left you. Maybe a ‘deal breaker’ never occurred. There is the possibility that you were dumped for no apparent reason. Things were great at first and the two of you were inseparable. Then, suddenly the wind was knocked out of you when she gave you the news. So, what happened? And more important, can you undo what happened? "Can I get my ex girlfriend back?", you asked? Yes, you can.

Most men don’t notice the subtle changes in a relationship that lead to the eventual breakup. There is a predictable path that most breakups follow. This fact alone is enough to ensure that even though the breakup has already taken place, it is not permanent, and you can get your girl back.

In the beginning stages of a relationship, the man is always ‘the man’. He generally doesn’t put as much emphasis on the relationship as the woman does because he is just being himself. He’s not really sure if the relationship is going to actually lead to anything permanent so he operates with an ‘I‘ve got nothing to lose’ attitude. Well, here’s the clincher. You may not realize it, but that ‘nothing to lose attitude’ makes you come off with an air of confidence that is extremely attractive to a woman. During these initial weeks or months, the man is expressing his true self. A man was wired to be ‘in control’ and strong. Women love this. They love the raw masculinity that a man projects when he feels strong and in charge of his life. A woman’s sexuality is wired to respond to the dominance of a man. So, when things are new and the man is feeling in charge, all is well and the woman is sold; hook, line and sinker.

Unfortunately, in most cases the man doesn’t stay this way. If he knew the real deal and how important his level of confidence was to a woman, he would do everything he could to keep it going. But somewhere during the course of the relationship, the man usually realizes that this is more than just a ‘take it or leave it’ relationship. He cares deeply about his girlfriend and now he has something at stake. That’s where the man always goes wrong.

Even though you love her and would be completely crushed if she broke up with you, it is vital that you don‘t come across as being weak. If you don’t keep up the level of confidence, leadership, and masculinity that you originally projected, then you are unknowingly driving her away from you. Unless something changes, she will finally reach the day when she becomes completely irritated with you and doesn’t even understand why. Shortly after this moment takes place, you are history.

Still, there is good news. In order to win your girlfriend back, all you have to do is take back the control that you lost. If you can do this, she will come back to you.

First, don’t shower her with gifts, don’t beg, and don’t cry. The steps you need to take are simply this:

• Give her enough space to miss you

• Call her occasionally to ask how she is, but not so often that you sound needy

• Go on with your life and be happy

After a week or so of this, tell her you’d like to see her (be nice, but don’t grovel). When you two go out (trust me, she will say yes) it is vital that you are in charge. Be confident, strong, and happy with yourself. By doing this you will once again set the tone that you did at the beginning and she will fall right back in line. Trust me on this one. She will be attracted to the masculinity that you portray. It’s as simple as one plus one equals two, but very few men realize it. The ones who do are the guys who have all of the women calling them. A woman is naturally attracted to the strength and self-confidence of a man. It’s in her genetic makeup. She is wired that way.

Now that you are armed with this life saving information, don’t waste another minute. Go ahead and get your girlfriend back!

 

As usual, I’d like to know what you guys think. Who says that you have to agree with me. Please share your thoughts below. Thanks.