When relationship conflicts arise, men and women react differently. Even in relationship, we treat men in relationships and women in relationships differently. There are psychological reasons why the two genders deal with these problems differently.

Image credit: Mirko Macari

No relationship is entirely trouble free; but if the parties involved approach conflict resolution in entirely different ways, this can exacerbate the couple’s problems. Dating and married couples will often seek out the assistance of a professional counselor to help their relationship conflicts. Counseling can help both parties to think things through more clearly and give them some insight on how their partner thinks about things.

A National Institute of Mental Health study found that young couples (aged 18 to 21) who had been dating only a short time (a few months) tended to avoid depending on their partner and generally shunned emotional intimacy. These persons also displayed high levels of anxiety about being rejected by their partners.

The exact level of their fear of abandonment or rejection as well as how they processed these feelings differed from individual to individual – and the way which they handled these feelings directly correlated to the level of anxiety they experienced.

The most interesting results of the study had to do with the difference between the results in men and women. Men had a physiological reaction to this anxiety which was measurable. However, few women showed a physiological response to these stresses.

Women, on the other hand tended to lead conversation with their partner towards what they saw as problem areas in their relationship and work actively towards conflict resolution. Women did have increased cortisol levels while confronting a partner about these issues, but these levels quickly dropped following the conversation. A quick resolution to relationship conflicts seemed to be physically healthier for women.

Men dealt differently with conflict. While they did want to resolve the problem as soon as possible, they were less likely to take a head on approach as did women.

However, men who were in relationships with partners who reported feeling more secure in the relationship had lower anxiety levels than did men in relationships with women who were anxious about the prospects for the relationship. Women’s anxiety levels were unchanged regardless of their partner’s sense of security in the relationship.

Any professional advice you receive about relationships will be geared towards helping both of you understand that men and women deal differently with conflict within relationships. This research demonstrates a physiological difference between the sexes, which may help you gain some understanding as to why your partner processes relationship problems differently than you do.

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