Hi there!

May here… I found a funny video on Youtube the other day and I thought that I might share it here on my blog. It’s called How A Man Tries To Seduce A Woman.

It’s pretty funny. It pokes fun at men who are so full of themselves. Those who think that they are all that. I have nothing against men. I’m married to one. Eventhough I love my husband so much, there are times I feel like I could just strangle him. I’m pretty sure he feels the same way about me too.

That’s just pure relationship 101. Men are funny creatures aren’t they? Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

Enjoy the video!

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As promised, here’s my husband’s article for you to read. You can read about how this article ended up in this blog titled, "How Even The Smallest Of Things Can Improve Your Love Life - My Husband Made Me Realise That".

But first, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the Jedi mind trick, here’s a little definition:

"In the fictional universe of Star Wars, a Jedi mind trick is a Force Power. Jedi who know the power can, by using the Force, influence the actions of other "weak-minded" sentient beings.

Jedi typically perform this ability with a wave of the hand and a verbal suggestion. If the trick is successful, the victim will reply by restating the suggestion and will immediately think or do whatever the Jedi suggested." - Wikipedia

See how it’s used here:

A word of caution, this article is not meant to be taken seriously.

Image by: kevindooley

So, have you found yourself saying, "I have a bad feeling about this" with regards to your marriage or love-relationship, and before you know it you’re getting divorced or moving out? Ah, young padowan learner, you have experienced the use of the Force in your life. You were reaching out with the Force to feel that your relationship was in trouble.
 
Yes, yes, there was probably some other evidence that could have helped you realize what the Force was telling you. The lack of sex. The lack of dates. The undone chores. The onions that you hate and are allergic to put on your hamburgers. But, with the Force, you were able to sagely conclude that you had a bad feeling about all this…and behold! you were correct.
 
Now…you are too wondrous to have yourself kicked to Planet Naboo this way, and you know it. You should not be having bad feelings about this, that, or th’other thing, or anything else! You deserve your ex to be sharing your life, your bed, your chores…and making your hamburgers exactly the way you want them! (Of course, young learner, once you have mastered the Force, you can cook your own hamburgers to perfection, and all without gas or electricity or any other fuel. But, ah, that’s for another lesson.)
 
Yet, there you are, heartbroken. Poor, poor, pitiful you. How could your ex do this to you? Well, the answer is obvious: as much as you love your ex, she is weak-minded. (For the purposes of clear communications with this very important little essay, dear apprentice, I’m going to speak in terms of the man getting back together with a woman. But, you can apply these lessons equally to your life regardless of if you are a woman who wants her man back, or if you are homosexual, or bisexual, or even belong to some secret polygamous sect and have lost one of your many love-slaves.)
 
Yes, your ex is weak-minded…for how could she otherwise have left you? 1) You are on your way to become one of the greatest Jedi ever. 2) You were great to her! But, young padowan, don’t you recall that the Force has great power over the weak minded? If you use your mastery of the Force, you can work on her. Yes, even from a distance–that’s why we invented telephones, and now webcams and microphones/instant messenger services: it was all to get back rogue ex lovers and wives. With the Force you can use telepathy. Again, that’s for another lesson.
 
You can master Jedi mind tricks and have your ex come back to you…and not just come back, but henceforth do your bidding!
 
Now, the first Jedi mind trick that you must master is Denial. This is where you calmly, coolly deny ever having done anything wrong–and this includes everything your ex saw you do wrong and everything you ever admitted to doing wrong before. The Jedi mind trick of denial simply informs your ex that "it wasn’t me." Do not worry about the videotapes she has of it actually being you, either. Once you have dropped this Jedi mind trick down on her, she will delete or throw away all the evidence she has against you, and convince herself that those were all products of a CIA conspiracy to bring you down.
 
Now, the second Jedi mind trick is called On Demand. With this trick, you convince your woman that everything you want done is so urgent, so important to the safety of the Galaxy, that she must drop all else and do what you have asked. Never again will you have to suffer the pain of an unmade bed, not getting your three hot squares cooked to perfection while you channel surf, being strong-armed into drinking less than the full six-pack, dust on the coffee table, or floors that are anything less than sparkling. Soon enough you won’t even need to snap your fingers anymore as you grow stronger in the Force, and she will dance for you like one of Jabba’s blue or green concubines!
 
But with On Demand, before you can enslave your beloved, you must first use it to get her to come back to you. You don’t go to her. You don’t apologize. You don’t send flowers. You simply demand that she come back to you immediately. Yes, you tell her that she is coming back to you–it’s that simple. You must believe, young padowan learner. Your lack of faith up til now has been disturbing, and has resulted in the crumbling of your personal Empire. Now is the time to take matters into your own hands–by the throat, if you must!
 
But, young learner, perhaps the most powerful Jedi mind trick of all is the advice the the ghost of Obi Wan gave to Luke Skywalker: "Luke, use the Force before intercourse." You know, Master Yu, if you had not neglected this Jedi mind trick before, she may never have left you in the first place.

So, that’s how you use the Jedi mind tricks to get your ex back. Courtesy of my husband.

Here’s a little video for you. I’ve been contemplating on whether to include this or not. It’s pretty vulgar with a lot of swear words and such. Do not watch this if you can get easily offended. Otherwise, watch for minute 0:52 for Obi Wan’s advice to Luke: "Luke, use the Force before intercourse." It’s pretty funny.

Do you have your own Jedi mind tricks to use to get ex back. Please share them below.

May the Force be with you!

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